


Mr. Robot writings

by Ghost_droid



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Other, Referenced Death, Referenced Drug Use, gender neutral reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-22 03:19:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9580253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghost_droid/pseuds/Ghost_droid
Summary: Basically just a dumping ground for my Mr. Robot scenarios, some might connect to my other story "Sure"





	1. Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> He doesn't want to push you away, but it still hurts and he can't forget

You didn't know what was wrong.  
You love Elliot and you had a good feeling he loved you, at least in a way a man like him could. But sometimes he'd drift away from you and you didn't know why or how to help him.

He's distant when he's like this, he doesn't want to hurt you, make you feel unwanted, but sometimes he can't help it, sometimes he does it on purpose, he wants and deserves your hate in those moments.  
He wants you to run away, like he wishes she would have.  
He can't even think of her name sometimes, he really did like her, he thinks he even may have loved her in some of those moments they shared. But those moments were gone, she was dead because of him and you could end up the same way, used against him.  
He still doesn't understand how you wedged your way into his life but you did, you hold him when he breaks down, even when he lashed out and he knows he's scared you, you're still there.  
Which only makes it all the much harder to hurt you.  
You fought today, the heater was broken again and it was freezing in the apartment so you went scavenging for extra blankets.  
You found it, her unfinished project, she'd shown it to him in a moment of vulnerability a moment of trust.  
He accused you of rummaging through his things when you asked him about it, you tried to defend yourself, it was fiery between you two until he dug too deep. Elliot always overanalyzed people, he told you something that he'd never tell you out loud if he wasn't so angry.  
He expected tears, maybe even more yelling, the fight flew straight out of you. He watched your eyes go glassy but you didn't cry, your face went blank and you looked away from him. If he were someone else he would have grabbed you and apologized, kissed your hair and promise he'd never do it again.  
But you both knew better.  
You started grabbing your things, he asked you to stop, you looked up at him with sadness in your eyes. On one hand he wanted to let you leave, slam the door and write him off as some asshole ex and move on with your life, for your own sake.  
But on another he didn't want to lose you, he didn't want to go without your morning kisses, or your little songs you made up for doing chores, the way your nose crinkled up when you laughed, just the way your eyes lit up when you saw him, he hated sappy romance but sometimes you made him understand it. The thought of his life without you scared him as much as his life with you did.  
His eyes trailed to her tapestry.  
Shaylas tapestry.

She had thought it was silly, and maybe it was, but she had made it and showed him a piece of her true self. He'd snatched it when her apartment was being cleared out, he kept it stored away in his closet, even if he had deleted her file, she still remained IRL.  
It was like he could hear her in the back of his mind, he was being an asshole taking his grief out on you, she wouldn't want him to do that. Knowing Shayla she'd rather him be happy with someone else rather than alone being a jerk.  
“I'm sorry.”  
You grimaced  
“Maybe that's not enough.”  
He wanted to recede, it was his nature, but her memory was pushing at him.  
“I'm not mad at you for what I said I was…”  
You ceased stuffing tshirts into your bag for a moment, giving him a puzzled look as he continued  
“I know you didn't mean to find it” he gestured to the cloth now on the corner of his bed “but that belonged to my last girlfriend.”  
He gulped, he didn't want to acknowledge it but he had to eventually, even Krista said it would help to say it out loud, it would help him truly accept what happened like he hadn't thought about it millions of times since it happened.  
“She died.”  
You looked shocked, he started to tell you about her, he'd hid it from you and now suddenly a lot of things made more sense. The way he'd drift off in the middle of talking to you, the way he stared at the empty apartment across the hall with longing when he'd let you inside.  
“Elliot..I'm sorry.”  
“You didn't know.”  
He was closing up again as he retreated to his couch, you gave him some space as you put some of your things back.  
“Ell, why didn't you tell me?”  
He looked through you, he did that a lot when he was afraid to tell you something  
“It's hard to think about her..I keep thinking..”  
Was he gonna say it?  
“I keep thinking you'll end up like her and I'm not sure I can do that again.”  
You sat next to him and quietly asked permission to touch him, he put his head on your shoulder and you stroked his hair, you were still a little mad, but him opening up like this to you or anyone was rare, you'd let it slide for today.

  
“I'm not going anywhere Elliot.”  
“I hope that's true.”

You held him and silently promised him that it was. 


	2. Homemade Valentine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You don't expect anything

It's Valentine's Day.  
You have been with Elliot a while so you finally broke your streak of being single on Valentine's Day. Most would be excited with this news but you knew it wouldn't be much different, Elliot didn't like holidays, especially corporate ones like Valentine's Day.  
He told you awhile ago he didn't like the idea of having to buy things to show affection, it was fabricated and didn't show how people really felt just how much they were willing to spend to get approval. It was a little cynical his way of thinking but you guessed there was some truth in it, he didn't have to get you things like flowers or chocolates for you to know he loves you, but as you watched your co workers receive bouquets and friends post on social media about Valentine's breakfasts or lunch you felt a little jealous, you couldn't help it, when it's all in your face you can't help but wish you got a gift.  
Maybe it wouldn't be sweets or a fancy dinner, but as long as Elliot was with you when you got home you were sure that'd be enough.

Elliot didn't like Valentine's Day.  
It was purely made to prey on the natural human need to fit in and conform with society's expectations on how you should show how you feel. The web was swamped with dumb things like “15 best Valentine's Day surprises” with images of people's facebooks and instagram of their lovers reaction to things like cupcakes or heart shaped pancakes.  
He'd never been dating during the holiday before, Angela asked what you and him would be doing that night and he realized how bad it sounded when he said “Nothing.”  
He didn't usually care what people thought, but he was afraid you might be disappointed if he came home empty handed. One side of him said you shouldn't need gifts to know he loves you, but another side said you weren't wrong for wanting them. There'd definitely be way over priced flowers it being Valentine's Day, restaurants would be packed, what could he give you?

He felt silly spending his lunch break like this, Angela insisted on helping as they sat in a booth with the supplies they'd picked up from the corner store spread out on the table. People chattered as they ate, the cafe was usually pretty quiet but of course it'd be busy today. Angela smiled cutting red paper into the shape of a heart and pulled out some cheap glitter glue  
“This is like grade school all over again, but I'm sure (y/n) will like a card you made better then one you bought.”  
They say homemade gifts came more from the heart and he guessed he could get more on board with that, he'd never been very good with this sort of thing but you'd probably appreciate the effort.  
He really liked you, you made it feel easy to touch, easier to hold a conversation, he used to be afraid to talk to you but you always found a way to make him talk even if it was just a little, he'd almost forget he wasn't normal with you sometimes.  
You'd tell him it was okay to be different, that it was better to like yourself then for people to like a faux version of yourself, he wasn't sure he could ever really like himself but if someone like you could love him maybe he wasn't so bad.  
The card looked a little cheesy, a crooked heart with a glitter outline, him and Angela tried their best he could at least say that. He didn't have a poem or anything to put on the back, but he wrote something in his blocky writing and hoped it would satisfy you.

You were tired after work as you unlocked the door, you had some groceries to make Elliot's favorite dinner, even if he didn't want gifts or anything he couldn't stop you from at least feeding him.  
“El, you home?”  
He was at his computer, he turned to look at you  
“I'm making dinner tonight if that's cool.”  
“Sure, that'd be nice.”  
You smiled and walked over, giving him a quick kiss on the temple, he didn't flinch like he used to, it felt good to be able to kiss him without making him uncomfortable.  
You started unpacking your ingredients as Elliot's typing became white noise in the apartment.

He tried to look busy reinforcing his fire wall, the card was burning a hole in his hoodie pocket, he kept noticing little specks of red glitter on his fingertips and nails, he wanted to give it to you as soon as you got inside, just get it over with, but he felt nervous. When he thought about romantic gestures all he thought of were those sappy movies he hates where the guy gives the person the gift in some clever special way that ends in hugging and swapped saliva, not his sort of thing.

You'd been together awhile it shouldn't be a big deal, but he'd never really given you anything before, you basically lived with him, normally other couples gave each other little momentos all the time but he never really thought to do that kind of stuff, god he was bad at this.

“ _Well us Aldersons have never been the romantic types, don't tie yourself in knots over it.”_  
He closed his eyes, of course he had to be here right now.   
“Go away.” He whispered

 _“You're driving me nuts with all this anxiety, they like you just give it to them, maybe a little peck on the lips and the kid will be satisfied it's doesn't have to be this big show and dance number like you're thinking_.”  
His palms were sweaty and he looked back at you as you cooked, the smell wafted towards him, his favorite.  
_“Think about it Elliot, you know them, so quit your worrying it's getting on your old man's nerves_.”  
“You're not actually-”  
He was gone again, he always felt weird accepting advice from the illusion of his dead father, but technically he was right, Elliot did know you and you'd love whatever he had to offer. He'd give you the world if he wasn't trying to rebuild it.  
You cleaned off his small table, setting the table with his mismatched dishes and sat down. You started eating as he ran his thumb over the card again, now was probably as good a time as any.  
“(Y/n).”  
You swallowed and put your fork down, looking to him to show you were listening  
“I don't really like this sort of stuff, but I know you do so..”  
he trailed off as he handed you the small card. Your eyes went wide and you said nothing as you looked at it.

You were surprised Elliot got you something, it warmed your heart that he got you something even if it wasn't in his nature.  
It looked a little crude, Elliot wasn't much of an artist but you smiled  
“Ell, did you make this?”  
He blushed and nodded, sinking into his hoodie as you read what he wrote on the back.

_“Dear (Y/n),_  
_I know I have a different way of thinking about a lot of things, but when I think of you, I feel like that's not a bad thing -E”_

It was simple, but it meant a lot, the glitter came off on your fingers but you didn't care, you felt loved.  
“I love you Elliot.”  
He tensed but you could tell he was happy when his lips curved into that little smile you knew him for, this was all you could've wanted out of the holiday, being here with Elliot even if it was just sitting at home with a homemade card, it was more than enough.

He didn't say it often but he felt it enough in this moment that he didn't feel too uncomfortable to say it today  
“ I love you too (Y/n).” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day isn't a real holiday but it's not bad to let people know how you feel ❤️ I just wanted to write a valentine fic so enjoy


	3. Heat wave and popsicles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hot and you want something cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I work outside in the summer so this is born purely out of the fact that I have been roasting alive since may

Fuck it was hot.  
Your apartment was small and drafty usually, but it now felt like a sweaty humid prison.  
You were basically naked, sitting shirtless in front of your box fan, it was blowing hot air at you at this point, A/C was out because of everyone in the building blasting it in this heat wave.  
New York was usually comfortable for you, summer could be hot but nothing too bad, but since people had to ruin everything the world was now being baked alive due to climate change so you'd have to sweat it out this summer.  
You decided to check if you had any treats in your freezer, even just standing in front of it sounded great already.  
You opened it expecting a puff of cool relief, but nothing.  
You reached your hand in, nothing, sloshy frozen dinners touched your fingertips.  
“Shit!”  
You opened your fridge, Milk was still a little cold but not like it would be in a functioning refrigerator.  
Fan-fucking-tastic.  
You yelled in frustration slamming the fridge door, now all your food was gonna spoil and make your house smell, not only would you starve but bake to death in your pressure cooker of an apartment.  
You decided to calm down, you looked up online how to deal with it, you tried some wikihow steps but it seemed you definitely had a dead fridge.  
You called an appliance repair place, they said they'd be there to pick it up in the morning, to empty your fridge before they got there.  
You felt sweaty and gross, not up for the task currently, so you decided to distract yourself, you needed a popsicle and a place with A/C stat, but you also didn't want to trek out into the heat alone.  
You pondered a moment, maybe…

Elliot woke up, wrapped in sweaty sheets, he peeled them away from himself as he got up. He thought napping would help him get over the heat, it had been a short reprieve but now he needed a shower.  
The cold water felt wonderful against his skin, New York could get hot but years of wearing a hoodie every day he felt he could bare it, but this was a different hot, sticky and relentless, not to mention the A/C in his building was out, he sighed under the cold spray knowing as his fingers pruned he had to get out.  
He'd dried off and was pulling a shirt on as he heard knocks at the door, he hadn't been expecting anyone.  
He looked through the peephole to see you in a tank top and basketball shorts, his chest felt tight as anxiety creeped up on him, you came around from time to time, usually to smoke weed or to get your computer fixed, you torrented movies a lot so you'd get a lot of malware but he didn't mind, he liked when you'd come over.  
Sometimes you'd just talk and hang out but not very often, he wanted to but he wasn't very good at keeping conversation and didn't know how to ask you to come over without feeling weird about it.  
You knocked again and he wondered what you could want on a day like this.

You felt slightly winded after taking the stairs, you were standing in front of Elliot's door.  
You felt nervous, you and Elliot hung out sometimes but it usually involved drugs or a busted laptop, you consider yourself friends, but you weren't sure about him, he didn't usually text back or come to you, it was always you coming to him. It also didn't help you had quite the crush on the guy, but this was just an innocent hang out, you weren't asking him out for anything more than a friendly hang out, but what if he saw it as something else?  
Fuck it, the worst he could do was say no right?  
You knocked several times, hearing shuffling then the clicks of locks.  
Elliot peeked out of the doorway, his hoodie discarded and replaced with a light grey cotton blend shirt, his eyelids and forehead glistened with sweat as he stared you down.  
“Yes?”  
You scratched the back of your damp neck  
“You wanna go get a popsicle with me? Maybe after see a movie or something? I don't think I can take this broken A/C anymore.”  
He looked hesitant  
“You really want to go out in this heat.”  
“I mean it's not getting any cooler here.”  
“I guess but why with me? Don't you have friends?”  
You pursed your lips and sighed through your nose  
“We're friends, now do you wanna come or do you and your ass sweat wanna stay here popsicleless?”  
You looked him in the eyes, knowing he'd break under your gaze  
“Fine, let me put shoes on.”  
You smiled triumphantly, now you didn't have to suffer alone.

“Yeah so my fridge is broken and that's why we're on this little adventure.”  
You and Elliot were walking down to the market a few blocks over, he wasn't much of a talker, but he'd usually ask you a question because he knew you'd talk for a bit, he liked to listen to you, sure you rambled a lot and got a little off topic but he liked to see what you spiraled into, it was even better when you two would get high, but he was not in the smoking mood.  
He wished he'd owned some shorts, his legs now sticking to his black denim jeans, he'd rolled them up revealing his black high tops, he envied your wardrobe choice.  
“Is there any movies you want to see? I know that theatre near my job is basically freezing no matter what, I'll pay for us to take a cab if you want.”  
Elliot wasn't much of a movie guy, but freezing sounded amazing  
“Whatever you want, I'm not picky.”  
“Nothing really great is out right now but I guess we can go see that horror thing.”  
“You mean that zombie summer camp one?”  
You laughed at the thought, Elliot felt his cheeks dust with blush  
“It'll be funny if anything, it looked horrible in all those ads, but it's better than the staring at the fan blades marathon I was having earlier.”  
He nodded as you both walked through automatic doors.

The place wasn't usually packed, it didn't sell much but instant meals and sometimes fresh vegetables and fruit from some locals with roof gardens.  
Today there was quite a few people with the same idea as you two, you saw a girl with a bag of ice shoved down her shirt leaning against a wall with another girl eating a tub of ice cream with her fingers. You and Elliot eyed each other, he gave you a little knowing smile as you two made your way over to the frozen isle.  
You two were at a crossroads, he wanted fudge pops, but you wanted strawberry fruit bars, in the end you bought the four pack of fudge pops, only because he promised to buy you the fruit bars on the way home.  
You sat on a bench in the shade, deciding to order a Lyft to get you as Elliot licked away, he'd opened both of his ice creams, you guessed he didn't want one to melt before he finished the other, but now it was a race against time as he tried to finish them both at the same time, you laughed as he kept having to lick the bottom to stop one from dripping only for the other to start.  
You sucked and bit off of yours, savoring the cold on your tongue.  
You finished your first and went for your second, it was already a little gone when you opened the package but you ate it anyway, ice cream was ice cream.  
Elliot was almost done as well, you smiled looking at him, you really liked him, even though he seemed a little closed off he was nice to you in his own way, he'd come out even though he hated doing that in normal weather, for you, he was also so cute in a weird way, with his green eyes and full lips. His eyes caught yours for a moments and he raised an eyebrow questioningly.  
You turned from him, your already flushed face worsening, why did you have to be so weird?

Elliot felt maybe you'd been expecting him to say something when he caught you staring, had he not been listening and you'd asked something? He did that a lot to you so now he was paranoid.  
He never knew exactly how you felt about him but that was everyone really, you were really nice to him in person and he'd never seen you say anything like “creepy neighbor with a hoodie” in any online interaction but he wouldn't blame you seeing as he was literally sifting through your emails most mornings.  
The past few weeks though you'd been telling your bestfriend about a guy you were interested in that he was pretty sure was him, but he didn't know how to confront you about how he felt without getting all tongue tied. He'd tried a couple weeks back when you'd brought him a joint and left overs, you had a habit of getting a little handsy when you were high, it started going a little too far and he'd told you to go home, not wanting you to do anything you regretted later. He didn't want to do that with you like that, he wanted it to be more than just a one night thing but didn't know how to tell you that, so he let you think he was mad as you left back to your apartment.  
Now you two were sitting together on a bench waiting for a stranger to take you to a crappy movie as sweat rolled down his nose.  
Elliot was scared of the world, expressing his feelings had always been a struggle, but you made him feel a little more at ease. Sure you weren't some end all cure to his anxiety, he had an actual therapist and it was still a major struggle, but you understood his boundaries, you didn't push him to do things when he said no, but you did help him get a little out of his head every once in awhile.  
“God knows you need that.”  
The hair on the back of his neck stood up as Mr robot leaned on back of the bench, Elliot craned his neck to look at him as he looked back over his shoulder, his thick glasses slipping down his nose.  
“Hot as hell out here, but I see your little love dove lured you out of your hole of an apartment.”  
He ground his teeth not responding,he hated when he called you that.  
“Now I know, and you know, that you like (Y/n), you have since they shared their smokes on the stoop back in like what, December? Just take a dive kid.”  
“Would you shut up.”  
“What was that?”  
He bit his tongue as you turned to him  
“Sorry- was talking to myself.”  
You shrugged and went back to scrolling through your phone, waiting for your lyft ride to arrive.  
Mr. Robot chuckled and Elliot's gaze flicked back to him  
“You know the best part is I think they like you too, I think they still would even if they knew about me if I'm being honest, they look at look at you like you hung the moon or some mushy crap like that.”  
Elliot crossed his arms trying to pull into himself, he didn't usually like what his faux father had to say but for once he'd actually said something kind of comforting, you did like him even though he was so introverted, you texted him and visited when you didn't have to, you could've just written him off as the guy you smoke with but you called him a friend.  
“I know it's not in your nature but I just want what's best for you.. and for you to stop thinking about it so much because it's driving me fucking nuts having to hear every irrational scenario that runs through your head.”  
That's more of the Robot he knew.  
“Elliot? Can I ask you something?”

Elliot turned to you and you felt your hands shake, this was really spur of the moment, maybe the heat really had driven you insane because there was nothing special about this moment but it felt like _the moment_. You felt like you had to tell him how you felt or you never would because you’re a coward who will just bury your feelings forever until he meets someone else and you're heartbroken over a relationship you never had.  
You rather be heartbroken knowing you'd tried rather than just letting your fears get the best of you.  
“You know I like you, like a lot, right?”  
He swallowed dropping the popsicle stick he was holding, surprised at what you'd said, you held your breath waiting for his response  
“Are you sure?”  
You couldn't help but laugh out of nervousness and the look on his face  
“No I just said that because I like the rush I get out of the fear of being rejected.”  
He ran his hand through his hair but smiled at you  
“I like you too, i don't really know how else to put it.”  
“I know, you're not a man of many words.”  
“I like to talk to you, I don't like to talk, but when you tell me about even just your day I like to.”  
That said it all for you really, you scooted closer to him, he flinched away out of habit and you almost backed away not wanting to overwhelm him, but then he leaned into you.  
“Can I-”  
You pressed your lips together, of course Elliot would be the type to ask for permission, but you didn't want to wait, but the notion was sweet and appreciated anyway.  
He brushed his finger on your face, but then you two realized how sticky with sweat the other was, you were almost 90% sure he had melted fudge pop on his fingers.  
He kissed you one more time before you pulled away hearing your phone chime, your ride was here.  
“Sorry, kiss was getting a little too heated.”  
He gave you a glare, you knew he hated puns but you did it anyway  
“Hey, this is what you're getting yourself into if this is gonna happen Ell.”  
He shook his head and stood up  
“Hey quit pouting, maybe if it's empty enough and after I cool down I'll kiss you again in the theatre.”  
You laughed as he rushed you to your ride at your statement.  
The day had been shit, it'd been too hot and you knew you have to clean out a bunch of melted food when you got home, your hands were sticky and you had enough sweat to fill a bucket.  
But you'd also gotten to kiss the guy you'd been wanting to kiss for what felt like forever, so maybe the heat wasn't so bad…

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who are we kidding you were ready for some functioning air conditioning, hot weather can fuck off tbh


	4. Break In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someones coming in through the fire escape
> 
> (Something kinda between season 1 and season two)

  
It was just you today in the apartment.  
The place was small so you tidied up a little while Elliot was at work, you'd showered and you were now just having a lazy day to yourself.  
You were snuggled up on a blanket on the couch watching a baking video, the couch wasn't the most comfortable but it was second best to the bed, you didn't want to lay in it all day, trying to trick yourself that getting out of bed and sweeping the floor meant you were quite productive.  
You felt a little lonely on days like this, usually you and Elliot's schedules melded together so you'd have days off together but Gideon called him in, some E-corp people were coming in so he wanted the place to look super efficient, and who was more efficient than your Elli. He'd told you he'd be back and he'd take you out for food if it made you feel better, you felt a little bad knowing he didn't like going out all that much but you knew he'd pick somewhere he could be comfortable so you agreed to the terms and now here you were.  
Flipper sniffed around, her little tail wagging as she waited for you, the day seemed to be twice as long when you were stuck waiting.

It was around 4 when the knocking came, you'd been nodding off when it happened and yelling accompanied it.  
“Open up I know you're in there.”  
A woman's voice, maybe she just had the wrong apartment, she'd figure it out eventually no need for you to get off the couch.  
The banging and a few more frustrated yells came before you heard the woman stomp down the stairs, you started to get comfortable again but then you heard someone climbing the fire escape.  
“Shit.”  
You didn't know what to do, could you call Elliot? Did you even have time? Your mind went blank and you fumbled to the kitchen grabbing the first thing you could get your hands on for protection.  
You tiptoed towards the window, the curtains were drawn so you didn't know if she was out there or you were just being paranoid.  
‘Could've just been the neighbor getting out for a smoke’ you thought  
But then the window started opening.  
“Of course I have to come through the fucking-!”  
You yelped in fear as she came through, you slammed a frying pan straight into her face, what the hell was this some 40’s slapstick?  
Instead of a cartoonish smile, you were met a string of swears as she held her nose and fell the rest of the way into the apartment.  
“Who the fuck are you and why are you in my apartment!” You questioned her.  
Her nose was gushing blood and she gave you an icy glare  
“This is my brother's house dickwad, I should be asking you why you're here!”  
You were confused, Elliot never told you about any siblings so you were still suspicious.  
“Who's your brother then?”  
“Can I at least have a tissue to mop up this shit show first? What kind of asshole swings a pan into someone's face?”  
“What kind of asshole breaks into their brother's house?”  
She frowned at you as you grabbed her a dish towel from the kitchen, she dabbed at it gently, it looks like it hurt really bad, maybe you swung extra hard with that adrenaline kick.  
“Elliot is my brother, I know I'm in the right place because his computer and smelly dog are here.”  
So she knew Elliot, that still didn't explain the breaking in, and how dare she say that about your baby flipper.  
“Excuse you she has a unique funk and we love her for it, why the hell were you breaking in?”  
She seemed to have grown bored with you as she started looking at her nails, the blood had eased its gushing trail to a trickle, it probably wasn't broken but definitely would swell up.  
“Elliot didn't answer the door and I needed a place to shower and crash so I let myself in.”  
“Don't you think he'd be a little mad about you just barging in?”  
“He was the first time but he isn't phased by it that much now, you got all the details on me, but why are you here?”  
You weren't exactly surprised she didn't know, Elliot didn't really tell people about your relationship often but that was okay with you, it was your personal business and if he didn't want to tell every person he was dating it was fine by you. But you didn't understand why he'd hid a sibling from you, he told you about his mother and his father but never a sister.  
“I stay here sometimes.”  
She snickered at you  
“Are you two a thing? El would never let just anyone stay at his place, even I'm a maybe and we're related.”  
You nodded guessing it was okay if she'd figured it out on her own  
“Elliot didn't really mention you, but then again he obviously hasn't told you about me either.”  
“Elliot doesn't mention a lot of things, I'm just surprised he's with someone, especially you.”  
That struck a chord with you, you didn't feel so bad about slamming her face now  
“What does that mean?”  
“Oh no nothing bad, you just seem so, cute.”  
You blushed, nobody had called you cute since you were in high school  
“Usually Elliot's into the messy types, girls who can't get their lives together or guys who are too sad to try, I guess he relates or whatever.”  
That made you feel sad but also a little good that he was interested in you even though you didn't fit his usual type.  
You sat down on the couch next to her, she had those big eyes like Elliot, her hair was sort of a mess in a bun and she wore knees socks with shorts, minus the blood on her face she was actually really pretty.  
“What's your name anyway?”  
“(Y/n)”  
“Well (Y/n) I'm Darlene, and you owe me fucking big time for that shit you pulled at the window.”

  
After a few hours, Darlene had showered and you'd bought some groceries, it was a bit dark out and she was laughing as you cooked in the kitchen.  
“He was such a baby in high school! He was so short he still looked like an eighth grader it was hilarious.”  
Once Darlene got going she loved to talk, she told you every embarrassing thing she could think of that Elliot had ever done, all their childhood adventures, their bitch of a mom as she put it, you were surprised she was being so open with you seeing as you only met a few hours ago but you guessed that's what came with dating her brother.  
“(Y/n) how does someone like you end up dating my brother anyway? I mean I love him but you just seem like you'd be off dating some outgoing accountant or some typical shit like that, what's Elliot got that catches your eye?”  
You'd also found out over the past few hours Darlene loved to dig into your personal life, she'd asked all about your school and job so of course exhausting those she'd wander to you and her sibling's relationship.  
You actually hadn't been too sure about dating Elliot at first, you'd met because you were the personal assistant of a higher up at Ecorp and he'd sought you out a few times after your first introduction. He was very obviously introverted and nervous when he talked to you, you didn't really know why but when he asked you out you couldn't help but say yes because if a man who was obviously afraid of the world could swallow that anxiety and ask you for a coffee you'd give it to him.  
He'd been quiet that first date, leaving most of the talking to you, he seemed to be listening though so you were okay with it then. As time went on he'd actually start to speak, and later open up. Elliot was scared of the world, scared of being alone, terrified of living but even more so of dying, he'd told you about a brush with death he'd had and he'd been so resigned to it but so thankful it didn't pull through once he was out of the situation. He'd been afraid of you once too, jittery fingers used to ghost above your skin, not touching you unless it was the darkest part of the night and everything was silent. He was still the same Elliot, not a huge fan of contact or social circles, but you were lucky enough to get a kiss every now and then even if he still tensed up sometimes.  
That's what you loved about him, he always swallowed his fear for you.  
“He's actually not so bad as he seems, he's really sweet.”  
She made a gagging sound  
“Ugh don't tell me you two whisper sweet nothings to each other.”  
You laughed as you handed her a plate with two tacos and rice.  
“Holy fuck you were serious when you said you were making dinner.”  
“Did you think I was just cooking ground beef for fun?”  
She nodded and she started devouring the meal, you watched her as keys jiggled in the door lock.

Elliot was tired, he'd gotten out of work later than expected, usually this wouldn't matter but seeing as you were probably waiting alone in his house you'd likely want an explanation or apology.  
He loved you, but sometimes living with another person exhausted him, not that you were bad to have around he liked having someone to talk to when he eventually did crave it, but sometimes he just liked to come home and say nothing.  
Usually, you got that and let him be, but he told you he'd take you out and now he was late.  
He heard a murmur inside his apartment as he unlocked the door, maybe you were on the phone?  
“Hey, El.”  
“Took you long enough asshole.”  
He completely forgot Darlene was coming around today, he was supposed to have today off so they could talk about her dark army connection but he was called in, and now here she was stuffing her face with tacos and you just stood looking at him as if to say ‘wanna explain this?’  
Elliot wasn't very open, he told you things but he had yet to mention Darlene, she liked to butt in and make sure she was two steps ahead even if she was unprepared so he'd neglected to mention you to her either.  
He decided to deflect your look and move on  
“What happened to your nose?”  
Darlene grimaced at him  
“Ask your love bug over there.”  
“Don't call them that.”  
He looked at you and you shrugged  
“She broke in and I took action.”  
He would've laughed imagining you protecting the house if he wasn't trying to think of explanations for you, he’d never seen a reason to mention Darlene, the less you knew about that side of his life the better, he wanted to keep you out of it but he knew Darlene was nosy and wouldn’t respect that so he hadn’t said anything to her either. Now you two seemed to be getting along despite your confrontation, Darlene liked people who could defend themselves and you were usually warm and welcoming.  
“I made you a plate if you’re hungry, I didn’t realize it was late and you weren’t home yet so I just made something.”  
He realized he should say something  
“Sorry, I’ll take you out another time.”  
“It’s okay El, just glad you’re home.”  
Darlene smiled wickedly at him digging into her rice with her fork, he could see it in her eyes she wanted to cause trouble.  
“I can’t believe you never told me about (Y/n) Elliot, I wonder why that is.”  
“It never came up.”  
“You never told them about me either.”  
He sat down uncomfortably at his cluttered table, trying to pretend to be occupied with his mail but piling it together and moving it out of the way. You placed a small plate in front of him, his mouth watered and you kissed his temple, his anxiety calmed down with your affection as a dampener, Darlene ruined it by gagging loudly and scratching her fork against her plate.  
“Get a room.”  
You ignored her comment and whispered in Elliot’s ear  
“We can talk about it later.”  
He thanked whatever being was out there for you being such an understanding person, that or you were just too uncomfortable to address the situation, he was accepting of either.  
“Darlene told me a lot about you today” you sat on the couch next to her taking a sip of your drink “You must have been so cute in high school.”  
He shot a glare at Darlene, she was his partner but she was also still his sister, he couldn’t bear to think of what she’d said to you, but you were smiling and giggling so he’d let it slide, better his embarrassing high school days than revealing Fsociety.

Darlene was asleep on the couch, she’d bitched it was uncomfortable but Elliot drew the line at her trying to climb in his bed, so you’d gotten soft blankets you’d bought when you moved in from the closet and tried to make it as comfortable as possible for her. You laid beside him, your soft navy blue shirt sliding off your shoulder, Elliot wanted to run his hand along your exposed skin, but you looked pensive and curled into yourself as you faced him.  
“You told me about your parents, why didn’t you mention your sister?”  
“I just didn’t think it was important.”  
“Is she like, a junky or something? Like homeless? She doesn’t look homeless but she came to stay here.”  
“She’s just..complicated,” He tried to use unoffending words to describe Darlene “She doesn’t like to stay with her boyfriend all the time so she’ll crash here or other places.”  
“She took one of my shirts.”  
“She’ll do that, she usually doesn’t plan her stays.”  
You reached your hand out asking permission and he grabbed it with his own, lacing your fingers together.  
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”  
“I’m sorry I almost broke her nose.”  
“She shouldn’t have been breaking in.”  
You smiled at him, so this was okay, nothing wrong had happened and you didn’t seem angry, he felt relief as he craned his neck to kiss you, you met him with your soft lips and he felt no worry nagging him any longer, was this what love felt like? He wasn’t sure, but he knew he wanted you here and wanted to be honest with you, so maybe it was a love of his own understanding.

Darlene left early and bid you farewell as you made breakfast, saying you should get together sometimes, you sighed as she threw her jacket over one of your shirts, you decided to let her keep it, no harm done.  
Elliot didn’t have work today either but you had to go in around noon, you’d be home early as it was a short day so you’d spend time together then. Elliot rose from your bed, you’d made you both some pancakes, you woke up to make food because you knew Elliot and he wouldn’t eat unless you made him most of the time.  
“You sleep okay?”  
He nodded and threw on a shirt, you placed his plate on the counter, he gave you a small smile as he took it.  
“I have to go to work in a little while but I’ll be home early.”  
“Do you want me to take you out tonight then?”  
You were surprised, Elliot seemed to actually want to go out somewhere with you it seemed, you assumed he’d only been doing it to appease you yesterday but maybe he wanted to make an effort to go somewhere.  
“If you want to, wanna try something different than Chinese?”  
He nodded  
“I’ll call a little bit before I get home and we can decide together okay?”  
He agreed and you both came into a comfortable silence as you seated yourselves on the couch, music still playing softly from your phone broke into it as you dug into your meal.

You dressed for work and Elliot tapped away at his computer, you grabbed your bag and started to head out as you heard his chair scratch against the floor.  
He followed you to the door and turned you as you went to grab your keys.  
“Have a good day okay?”  
He kissed your cheek and you felt a warmth in your chest as you smiled widely at him.  
“I’ll see you later okay?” You said quietly

Elliot opened the door for you, watching as you went down the stairs, already impatient for you to come home again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a crummy thing I wrote while nostalgic for season one, sorry if it ends kinda suddenly, I haven't seen season 3 at all so don't comment about it, please


	5. Coward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mornings suck sometimes

It was happening again.

The lines of reality and his mind’s own convoluted fiction we're getting harder and harder to tell apart. 

He felt warm that morning, the curve of your shoulder poked from beneath his cozy comforter each moment was punctuated by your even breaths 

“Comfortable?”

He went rigid refusing to turn over but that never stopped him, his feet stomp over his floor walking to the side you laid squatting down and cocking his head to the side to fit Elliot's skewed worldview

“Don't you two look just as snug as a bug! Or at least you would..”

Elliot gripped the blanket trying to keep himself grounded, Mr. robot ran his fingers up your exposed shoulder Elliot grit his teeth as the image of his dead father only smiled back at him proud he’d gotten a rise out of him.

“ You sure did pick a keeper, proud of you kiddo, but I'd like them a lot more if they didn't distract you so much.”

Elliot tried to hide under the sheet, ignore him and try to fall back asleep, maybe you'd want breakfast when he woke next. 

“ Ooh no, rise and shine champ! Can't waste the whole day in bed now can we?” 

He tore the blanket from Elliot, you stirred from the lack of warmth but he quickly tucked you back in deciding against waking you.

He could handle this himself.

Elliot walked over towards his couch trying to get the heat off of you but Mr. robot had already brought the attention towards you, you were an issue in his eyes or rather you kept Elliot in check, you helped him define the line, which got in the way of his alter egos agenda. Mr. Robot tried talking to you before but you understood from Elliot if he seemed off to leave the house and not come back until he called and you felt it was him.

“I get it, they're cute, but so are puppies, they’re great until they shit on your floor, or rather in your case-” He cut himself off with a chuckle, Elliot still felt the ache at the absence of Flipper. He decided to distract himself, maybe he’d make some coffee, check his email while he was at it. 

“Are you listening?” 

“No.” 

He wanted him to go away, get fed up with him and vanish again, but he seemed to puff with frustration.

He didn't like that answer, ‘Robot grabbed Elliot by the shoulders, making his skin crawl, he hated to be touched in general but by his split persona was the worst, it always left him hurt in some way. 

“ Listen, Elliot, you might be buying into that whole “control” bullshit that lovebird in your bed is selling, but that's all it is, bullshit! We have to work as a team.” 

Elliot felt venom lining his throat as he barked back.

“Oh so you taking over, that’s us working as a team right?”

“That’s for our betterment, that's what I'm here for right? To do what you can’t.”

Elliot backed away in frustration he was tired of this repeating cycle 

“I don't need you.”

“Oh what, because you have them or some other cheesy reason? You want to be better for them?”

“No, I'm just sick of your shit!”

“Right fucking back at you kiddo! I'm tired of your bellyaching, you created me to burn the world and now you're too chickenshit to light the damn match!”

Elliot covered his ears feeling overwhelmed, his anxiety was coming to a head, if it kept up he’d veer into a full-on attack.

“Stop it! can't you ever leave me alone?”

“That's it isn't it! You're fucking scared, after all this planning you're too scared to go through with it!”

“I said go away!” 

“I can’t! you created me, you moron! You’re yelling at yourself right now because you’re so fucked in the head, you’re you’re not even sure you're here right now.” 

Fuck, was he here? Did he come home last night? Now his paranoia was flaring, he sunk against the wall between his dresser. 

“You just wanna screw off and live in la-la land with all this lovey-dovey crap that kids brainwashed you with.” 

He pointed an accusing finger at your still sleeping form, he was unsure how you’d gone undisturbed, but then again he wasn’t sure if this was real right now. 

“You branched yourself off, created me to do things you could never imagine because of how you are, you wanted to change the world armed with nothing but code, but now I know the truth about you, you’re a coward, Elliot.” 

He curled into himself, angry tears slipping from his eyes.

“You think you don’t like hearing it from me? Let's see how you like it from your security blanket, maybe they can open your eyes.”

He was confused but suddenly Mr. Robot was gone, you stood in your pajamas in front of him, he felt a moment of relief. 

“Fucking coward.” 

His eyes got wide with fear, you never speak to him like that but maybe right now-

“You say you're going to change the world but all you do is cry and doubt yourself you're a coward Elliott, you're a coward! A coward!”

Your Mirage began to chant, your voice a funny trifold of speech, as if you and Mr. robot now shared a mouth. You kept chanting the decrepit word until he wailed and frustration wishing it would stop.

“Ell?”

He saw you slip out from under the sheets the chanting came to a stop but he still felt paranoid.

“Elli, why are you over there is everything okay?” 

This is another trick, Mr. robot would be laughing in a moment mocking your kind nature and patting himself on the back for fucking with him.

“Is he talking to you again?”

Elliott still felt that natural gnawing suspicion but nodded

“Do you need a reality check?

It was something his therapist had recommended you do if you felt Elliot was slipping, he nodded. 

“Okay well it's Thursday morning, it's raining I'm (Y/n) and I'm still getting the hang of this but you're Elliot Alderson you're in your apartment between space by your dresser, not anywhere else.”

He felt himself calming down a little as you brushed your fingertips over his knuckles to reassure him but not push it with his boundaries, especially right now.

“Wanna talk about it Ell?” 

He looked at you, your eyes were soft and filled with worry, he wasn’t much of a talker and you knew that he just didn’t want to relive what just happened.

“No, same stuff, different day.” 

You purse your lips but patted his knee, accepting the answer, for now, knowing he’d tell you when he was ready to do so.

“Alright, wanna dine in for breakfast? Pretty sure we got pop tarts.” 

He felt calm again, glad you were here to help him down, a familiar thorn pressed in his side 

“Won't last forever.” 

“Shut up.” He grumbled softly

“Huh?” 

“I said that’d be nice.” He gave you that small smile he knew you loved, you smiled back before padding into the kitchen. 

Mr. Robot was right, Elliot was scared but not for the reason he thought, yes it involved you but not because he wanted to change. Elliot just didn't see the point of destroying the pillars that held up the society you lived in, he’d change it, you and the rest of the world of being robbed blind and he couldn't sit idly anymore.

If he had to burn the world so be it but he wanted you along to kindle the flames. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol what timeline do these even take place in anymore, but you're reading it, and I'm writing it, so who really cares at this point

**Author's Note:**

> This won't really have an upload schedule I just wanted to have a place for my one offs and stuff like that, enjoy


End file.
